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xLoSTxSYmPHOnYx
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Name: Kodi
Country: United States
State: Florida
Metro: Gainesville
Gender: Male
Interests: Drawing, writing, singing, guitar, dieting... You know, your typical screamo singer.
Expertise: Screaming, Singing, Writing, Drawing, Starving...
Occupation: Artist
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/4/2005
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| Haven't updated in ages... Dunno what to say at all. Ana comes and goes. Mia waves from across the room. Dunno what to say at all... I'm missing things. Dammit. Should I even bother updating this anymore??? Kodi
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I feel used... I've never felt more pathetic.
I've never felt so... used up. torn up. thrown away. I want to scream. I want to do something self-destructive. I want to sleep. I want to forget te world in a dream of a new place. I just want my heart to subside. I want the ache gone. I'll cut it out if I have to... B- Gum
L- Mint
D- Diet Coke
S- Cigarette I want the world to come to a screeching halt so I can fucking catch up... I've been left behind. For you I give and give away
My unhappiness in color... Kodi
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| Honestly... It's likely that you'll end up hating me.
I can be a pretty nice boy.
I can be a pretty cruel boy.
I'm not good boyfriend material.
I'm not good friend material.
I ruin almost everything.
I often break hearts accidentally.
I probably look better on myspace or xanga.
I have many disgusting habits.
I'm so thin that it's unattractive.
I smoke and drink incessantly.
I wear as much makeup as a lot of girls.
I'm broke and I have no job.
I'm intelligent and cocky about it.
I have unbelievably high standards for you and myself.
I'm shallow and I base a lot on physical appearances.
I am not beautiful on the inside. I assure you.
I know I'm attractive, but I won't take compliments.
I have trouble saying "No."
I hate disappointing people.
I am an artist through and through.
I'll write and sing songs just for you.
I'm the best and worst thing that will ever happen to you.
So, I would love to give up on so much right now. If I wake up still feeling that I need to give up, then I most certainly will follow through with that. I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of being one-upped. I'm tired of attempting to do the right thing and having it completely backfire. I'm tired of making mistakes. I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of hurting others. I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of starving. I'm tired of vomitting. I'm tired of counting calories. I'm tired of wanting to cry in mirrors. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of everyone. I'm tired of consciousness. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of holding my eyes open. I'm tired of being tired... Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where worries are washed out to sea.
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like sunspots or raindrops... Kodi
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Too bad it rained that day... It rained so very hard. Much to say... Can't find words. I've forgotten my tongue. I don't remember how to say aloud the activities in my head. Happy, sad, joyous, content, striving, hoping. Perfect. B- none
L- piece of toast (60)
D- none
S- cigarette, two shots vodka. I'm modeling my body for my art class next week... Not sure how I feel about being nearly naked, having 20 eyes rove over me, and being noted visually as an assignment. I just have to stay away from some foods until that day... I want to look good enough to draw. So I'll keep dreaming.
Not another word, sweetheart.
Nothing is perfect... But it has to be someday. Kodi
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| Photos tonight. Ana, I'm home again... Kodi
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